“Down there we are all One”

It's been about three years since I first met her, embraced by the wonderful Croatian coast, for an interview that I conducted for a Slovenian weekly newspaper, the Nedeljski dnevnik, during which we ended up discussing the beautiful aspects of diving, what motivated her and the love she felt for everything she was engaged in. She was a living inspiration, whose insightful view of the world left a spark of a deep interest in the sub-aquatic world within me, a spark that nowadays overcomes so many of us seeking to discover the mysteries entailed by the soul. 

The Russian freediver Natalia Molchanova confided in me that it was never too late to dream, by not having fully committed to freediving until her 40s. “At the time, I began to wonder how to spend the time, all those hours that I had previously dedicated to all after-school activities my children used to partake in, in a fruitful and creative way. My children were grown up and, similarly to so many other mothers fully committed to their maternal role, I began to wonder in which direction I should go and how to inspire sufficient positive changes in my life to not become uncomfortable with the fact that my primary role as a mother was slowly transforming. It is then that I decided to start engaging in the sub-aquatic world that I had already been fascinated with before.” This constitutes the beginning of the story of the multiple world champion and world record holder, whose every breath ended up communicating hope, breaking down the age-old belief that it was ever too late for anything in life.

Natalia, whom I had first met during a course for freediving beginners, organised by Mojca Studen and Marko Šifrar from the Slovenian Velosimed Centre in Croatia on an annual basis, summed up her discoveries as follows: “Recreational diving provides you with plenty of opportunities to shift your focus from senseless excitement on the surface to an active absorption of the calmness of the water. Slow swimming harmonises the relationship between an extremely animated spirit and a usually inactive body, thus producing a feeling of joy in your muscles.”

Natalia, however, saw freediving as far more than merely competitions – freediving was her life that she poured into mindful poetry and films, which received top awards at international film festivals. The inspiring Russian, who reached incredible depths at various competitions, told me during our first meeting that “in the Black Sea, I was initially afraid of the depth and felt deeply uncomfortable when reaching 25 metres below the surface, as I found the darkness daunting. But the experience in the Red Sea was completely different.” But what exactly did she experience down there, what was it that so enticed her? “Down there, I cease to think. I only experience an exceptional openess of space and dimension of the spirit, combined with merging with all that exists into One. Down there, I experience a strong connection with the world as a whole, the vibration shifts. It is hard to find the right words to describe that reality, which differs so greatly from the one we know, but which is so utterly natural.”

Becoming familiar with the magnificent depths

With a seed of hope that it really was never too late to pursue your passion, I decided to also participate in a freediving course held this summer on the Croatian island Vis by the two freediving masters, Natalia and Alexey. As early as during my third dive, a long-forgotten memory of the wholeness that you can experience in contact with water was brought to the surface of my consciousness. Seeing that, according to Masaru Emoto, people are actually, to a greater extent, water than solid matter beings, merging with the uniqueness of your true nature, that takes place during freediving, actually means that you are re-claiming your primary nature. “In water, you become One therewith. This complete surrender evokes so much pleasure when you dive.” Words that I, as a yoga teacher, fully integrated into the experience of my first dives.  At the beginning, I would toss around like a tortoise or, better put, a cramped wet cat, but the following breaths and the calming zen energy of Natalia, Alexey and Mojca slowly started to dissolve the cramp into a gentle swaying in water. 

With time, I would return back from water increasingly calm, and, at the end, in a full state of wholeness and surrender. “Pleasure, fun and relaxation. This should be the primary motives behind freediving. To go beyond exertion, control and trying to prove yourself.” This is how I perceived Natalia's message, as I wanted to cross off my wish list not only a few metre deep dives, but, every single time, also the experience of Oneness that I had already experienced in various other forms prior and to go beyond the limited mind. 

When all course participants watched a magical film about the manta ray that Natalia once saved from a net and which clearly suggested the connectedness among all living beings, for which an unconditionally open soul is responsible, my face was filled with tears for the first time during that week. With those pure drops of joy that you experience whenever you touch something sacred and real.

Only one day before the dive in Ibiza that later proved fatal for Natalia, I talked to her for the very last time. Another course participant and I escorted her on the ferry to Split. On the way, she would, overwhelmed by passion that can only be exhibited by a fully loving heart, seek to explain new freediving scientific findings which fascinantingly demonstrated what the bodies of these one-of-a-kind athletes had already been achieving for years.  In a moment, we also touched upon how it is to leave for the unknown, something that comes with diving into the sea. I wondered if she had ever experienced all that in a transcendental way as well. “Only once in my lifetime, will I be taken by life to full and complete light. To that sacred state of blissful wholeness, as known by the Buddhists.” As soon as those words left her lips, her eyes lit up like two flashlights and my heart chakra trembled. It felt as if time had come to a standstill in that very moment. Our gazes merged into the Oneness that knows that freediving is one of the keys to those parts of sanctitude that open up even in the most peculiar of circumstances. “My dearest Natalia, I am sorry you need to go, because you have sparked my interest with this topic, which could be discussed endlessly. Ever since our very first conversation, I have been interested in those entities that you get to meet below the water in the transcendence of your consciousness.” Natalia threw me a mischevious glance and the two sparks in her eyes continued to shine. We then embraced each other with all the strength that we could muster, in the full presence of the moment, in the knowledge that we would meet again.

Dearest Natalia, I will caress you up there, in the rainbow, when it breaks in the waves of the sea, at the bottom of the sea, when I observe the living quality of quietude, in the reflection of the clouds, when I, fully committed, return back to the surface, and in the in-breath that will be following my retreat into the voice of my beating heart. I am deeply grateful to Life for having gifted me with such a remarkable teacher who awakened my love for water – which I also AM.

Your grateful course participant.

I would like to propose for us to gracefuly connect whenever you are in the memory of freedivers Natalia Molchanova and Cat Charnley in a dry apnea tomorrow, Tuesday the 18/08 at 21.00 CET 

"Unite in silence
 With blue tender flow.
 And come to knowledge
 Of your spirit law."

(Natalia Molchanova)

Special thanks to Alenka Artnik for this graceful photo and Dora Debeljak for the translation in English.